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Cover image for Emotional vampires : dealing with the people who drain you dry
Title:
Emotional vampires : dealing with the people who drain you dry
Personal Author:
Publication Information:
New York : MCGraw Hill, 2001
ISBN:
9780071352598

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Item Category 1
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30000004528422 BF637.V47 B47 2001 Open Access Book Book
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30000004409847 BF637.V47 B47 2001 Open Access Book Book
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30000004573063 BF637.V47 B47 2001 Open Access Book Book
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Summary

Summary

This work provides a guide dealing with the most difficult people in the world - people who drive other people crazy. The author identifies five types of emotional vampire - narcissistic, anti-social, histrionic, the obsessive/compulsive, and the paranoid friend.


Author Notes

Albert J. Bernstein, Ph.D., is clinical psychologist, speaker, columnist, and business consultant


Table of Contents

Acknowledgmentsp. xi
1. Children of the Night: Who are these Emotional Vampires?p. 1
Are They Really Vampires?p. 3
Antisocial Vampiresp. 4
Histrionic Vampiresp. 5
Narcissistic Vampiresp. 6
Obsessive-Compulsive Vampiresp. 7
Paranoid Vampiresp. 8
2. Maturity and Mental Health: If Emotional Vampires are children, what does it take to be a grown-up?p. 11
What Causes People to Become Emotional Vampires?p. 13
Immaturity versus Evilp. 13
The Everybody and Nobody Rulep. 14
What If You See Yourself?p. 14
3. The Way of Vampires: How Emotional Vampires are different, and more dangerous than other annoying peoplep. 17
Vampires Are Differentp. 17
Vampires Prey on Humansp. 19
Vampires Can Change Their Shapesp. 19
Vampires Can't See Themselves in a Mirrorp. 20
Vampires Are More Powerful in the Darkp. 20
A Vampire's Bite Can Turn You into a Vampirep. 20
Protecting Yourself from Vampiresp. 20
4. Dark Powers: Emotional Vampires use hypnosis. Here's how to keep them from making you think you're a chickenp. 23
The Structure of Magicp. 24
Recognizing Hypnosis When You See Itp. 26
The Danger Signs of Hypnosisp. 27
Hypnosis and Seductionp. 29
What to Do If You Discover You've Been Hypnotizedp. 30
Part 1 The Antisocial Types: Lovable Roguesp. 33
The Ferrari-Toyota Dilemmap. 35
How to Recognize an Antisocial Vampirep. 36
The Antisocial Emotional Vampire Checklist: Listening to the Call of the Wildp. 37
5. Vampire Daredevils: Sexy, thrilling, and definitely bad for your healthp. 41
The Physiology of Excitementp. 41
Daredevil Hypnosisp. 42
How Vampires Keep You Coming Back for Morep. 44
The 10 Elements of Vampire Fighting Strategy: Resisting the Forbidden Fruitp. 47
6. Vampire Used Car Salesmen: Slicker than cheap polyester, so always remember to read the fine printp. 53
Used Car Hypnosisp. 55
Is Honesty Really the Best Policy?p. 62
How Do You Tell If Somebody Is Lying?p. 62
The 10 Elements of Vampire Fighting Strategy: Protect Yourself from Predators in Polyesterp. 63
7. Vampire Bullies: Big, scary, powerful, and stupid as the guys who used to take lunch moneyp. 69
The Instinct for Aggressionp. 69
Vampire Bully Hypnosisp. 71
What to Do About Bulliesp. 71
How to Do the Unexpectedp. 73
The 10 Elements of Vampire Fighting Strategy: Don't Let Vampires Kick Sand in Your Facep. 77
Therapy for Antisocial Vampiresp. 84
Part 2 The Histrionic Types: Show Business, Vampire Stylep. 87
What's It Like to Be Histrionicp. 89
The Histrionic Dilemmap. 90
The Histrionic Vampire Checklist: Living a Soap Operap. 90
8. Vampires Who Ham It Up: Whether it's sex, sickness, or secrets of success, there's only one show businessp. 95
Ham-it-up Hypnosisp. 97
Writing a Safe Role for Yourselfp. 99
Illness as Theaterp. 100
Histrionic Vampires and Motivationp. 100
The 10 Elements of Vampire Fighting Strategy: How to Keep from Joining the Castp. 103
9. Passive-Aggressive Vampires: Deliver us from ghoulies and ghosties and people who are only trying to helpp. 109
Giving Until It Hurtsp. 113
Illness as Metaphorp. 114
Passive-Aggressive Hypnosisp. 115
Passive-Aggressive Behavior in Relationshipsp. 115
The High Self-Esteem Syndromep. 116
The 10 Elements of Vampire Fighting Strategy: Enduring the Terrible Meekp. 117
Therapy for Histrionic Vampiresp. 126
Part 3 The Narcissistic Types: Big Egos, Small Everywhere Elsep. 129
What It's Like to Be Narcissisticp. 131
The Narcissistic Dilemmap. 131
Narcissism and Self-Esteemp. 132
The Narcissistic Vampire Checklist: Identifying the Smartest, Most Talented, All-Around Best Person in the Worldp. 133
10. Vampires Who Are Legends in Their Own Minds: With talent like theirs, who needs performance?p. 139
How Narcissistic Legends Prevent Themselves from Succeedingp. 142
Narcissistic Legend Hypnosisp. 143
Another Narcissistic Dilemmap. 146
How to Socialize Narcissistic Legendsp. 147
The 10 Elements of Vampire Fighting Strategy: Getting Geniuses to Do Something Useful for a Changep. 148
11. Vampire Superstars: You've got to love these guys! Worship them, actuallyp. 155
Dealing with Superstars' Insatiable Needsp. 156
Special People Expect Special Treatmentp. 159
Who Cares What the Little People Think!p. 160
Superstar Hypnosisp. 161
Superstar Sexp. 162
The Plot to Change Superstars' Stylep. 164
Superstar Depression and Angerp. 165
The 10 Elements of Vampire Fighting Strategy: How to Stop Being Treated Like a Groupiep. 168
Therapy for Narcissistic Vampiresp. 176
Part 4 The Obsessive-Compulsive Types: Too Much of a Good Thingp. 179
What It's Like to Be Obsessive-Compulsivep. 181
How Much Is Too Much?p. 181
Punishment, Where Good and Evil Meetp. 182
The Obsessive-Compulsive Vampire Checklist: Vice Masquerading as Virtuep. 183
12. Vampire Perfectionists and Puritans: Can the undead be anal-retentive?p. 187
Why Do They Always Seem Angry?p. 188
Obsessive-Compulsive Hypnosisp. 188
Product versus Processp. 189
Demanding Prioritiesp. 190
Perfectionistsp. 191
How the Imperfect Can Deal with Perfectionistsp. 193
Puritansp. 194
Why Are Puritans So Mean?p. 195
Dealing with Puritans without Getting Burnedp. 196
The 10 Elements of Vampire Fighting Strategy: What to Do When the Good Guys Are After Youp. 199
Therapy for Obsessive-Compulsive Vampiresp. 204
Part 5 The Paranoid Types: Seeing Things That Others Can'tp. 207
Paranoid Purityp. 209
What It's Like to Be Paranoidp. 210
The Narcissist-Paranoid Dilemmap. 211
The Paranoid Emotional Vampire Checklist: Next Stop, the Twilight Zonep. 211
13. Vampire Visionaries and Green-Eyed Monsters: Inspiration always involves blowing things out of proportionp. 215
The Paranoid Questp. 215
Paranoid Hypnosisp. 216
Visionariesp. 217
How to Recognize Crazy Ideasp. 218
Paranoids and Religionp. 221
Green-Eyed Monstersp. 221
The 10 Elements of Vampire Fighting Strategy: How to Give Paranoids a Glimpse of Realityp. 225
Therapy for Paranoid Vampiresp. 230
Sunrise at Carfax Abbeyp. 233
Indexp. 235
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